


Dreaming of Sleep

by Lovefushsia



Category: Almost Human
Genre: Almost Human AU, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Dorian is a sleep expert, First Meetings, Fluff, John has a son, M/M, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-06
Updated: 2015-10-06
Packaged: 2018-04-25 01:17:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4941145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lovefushsia/pseuds/Lovefushsia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Single father John's son just can't get through a night without waking, so John calls sleep expert Dorian for some much needed help.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dreaming of Sleep

**Author's Note:**

  * For [GoWashTheLights](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GoWashTheLights/gifts).



> Prompt was for a Nanny AU where Dorian is the Nanny. It got a bit long.

“Stop Anna, just stop,” John said, head in his hands, exhausted after another day and yet another row, and he couldn’t carry on. He had been more than excited when they’d found out about the baby, he and Anna had been in a good place then he had been sure. But too much had gone wrong. They both had only love for Ben, but for each other – no, not anymore. John knew she was seeing someone, he felt it. She had drifted so far the only thing connecting them now was Ben. But John had drifted too, he cared about her but he couldn’t let their failed relationship affect his son. “It’s gotta stop.” He looked up at her, unwavering. “We’re over,” he said calmly and he watched her angry face fall, saw the pain there but he had made his decision.

“John, I –”

“No. We’re done. Let’s talk about how we make it work for Ben.”

****

John rubbed his eyes, sat up still in his dreams and stood up to move mechanically through to the other room. Ben hadn’t settled well to their new arrangement. John had tried everything – his own room, new bed, all new decorations which they had picked out together, glow light, stars on the ceiling, lullabies, cuddles in John’s bed. Nothing was working. Ben woke up crying every night he stayed here. Apparently he was calmer at Anna’s place each weekend, maybe because it was still familiar to their two year old as their old home. But whatever John did to make this new place home for them both was not enough.

He managed to settle Ben down and stumble back to his own bed but he lay awake for at least another hour, not able to relax. He had to do something. As soon as he thought the time was ok he called his boss and friend Sandra.

“John, what’s happening?”

“I need your help Sandra.” He was grateful just to have Sandra to listen, even though she'd heard it all before. 

After a couple of calls Sandra came back to John with the number of a sleep specialist. “Give him a try John, you both need sleep.”

“Thanks." He would call, even if he didn’t have high hopes of anything helping their situation at this point. John could only blame himself for leaving Anna in the first place.

“Hi, this is Dorian, please leave a message and I’ll get back to you.” John frowned. He wasn’t sure about this anyway and hearing this guy’s sunny voice mail message wasn’t exactly helpful, although he had no reason to feel that way. He sighed and after the tone he left his name and number. The man was a specialist after all, it had to be worth a try.

A couple of hours later John’s phone rang. “Kennex.”

“Uh, hey... John? This is Dorian Wills. You left me a message this morning?”

“Oh, Dorian, hi, sorry I was in work mode. Thanks for getting back to me.”

“It’s no problem John, can I call you that?”

“Yeah of course.” John didn’t care what the guy called him if he could help him and Ben to sleep.

“Great, so what can I do to help you?” Dorian had a very calming voice and John felt himself relaxing a bit and couldn’t stop the stream of words as he described Ben’s sleep pattern – kind of non-existent since birth, and then his breakup with Anna, and the continuing saga of broken nights. Dorian listened intently and when John had finished he was quiet for a moment longer before he spoke.

“Ok John, let’s see what we can do for you both. You’ve been through a lot right? When you both start to sleep things will seem a lot easier.”

And John found himself with an appointment to meet Dorian the following afternoon for a potential overnight stay once he’d summarized their problems. One more night to get through.

It was the same as always that night, despite a calming bedtime bath with extra lavender oil, lullabies on the baby monitor while they dressed in the cosiest pyjamas, warm milk and three of Ben’s favorite stories. By 9.30pm John had been upstairs four times already and he gave up the evening again and went to bed himself. He knew he’d be up again as soon as he closed his eyes, but he was exhausted. He lay down and allowed himself to drift off. Within what felt like seconds his eyes were back open and he was dragging himself up for more cuddles and soft words. He loved his boy more than anything and he clung to that as he brought Ben back to his own bed and snuggled them both down under the covers. “It’s ok little dude,” he whispered. “You can sleep, I’m here.” He had heard himself murmur those words for so many nights it lulled him off to a dreamless sleep as he held his boy close.

****

“Dorian, come in,” John said, holding open the door. He looked rough he knew, and he sounded worse, sleepy and defeated at only 3.30pm.

“Looks like you need a drink John,” Dorian said.

“Uh, yeah, I guess,” John said.

“Coffee? I can make it, you sit,” Dorian told him, patting John on the shoulder as he walked past him into the hallway. John stared after him a little confused – this was his house, right? Ben rounded the corner and also stared at their guest. Dorian stopped as well and looked back at John. “Your boy?” Dorian asked smiling widely, and John’s heart did a sudden pounding in his chest that he hadn’t felt for years.

“Yes,” he said then coughed a little. “Ben, this is Dorian, he’s here to...” but he faltered, not really having the words.

“I wanted to see if I can help you guys to get a little more sleep,” Dorian said, rescuing John and holding out his hand to Ben. “How are you little man?” Ben shook his hand and smiled a little, always kind of shy with new people. “And who’s this?” Dorian asked pointing to Ben’s favorite soft toy, a long-necked floppy giraffe.

“Mr Giraffe,” Ben said, not holding him out or willing to give him up in any way. They’d been inseparable since birth, pretty much. Dorian knelt there, chatting away to Mr Giraffe and Ben responded happily. John found himself smiling as he watched the two interact. He couldn’t find it in himself to be hesitant about this whole thing when Ben was already making friends.

They chatted and played the rest of the afternoon, John quickly aware of Dorian’s method of subtly discovering the relevant parts of John and Ben’s lives as they went along. He had little hope for a better night but they agreed John would do his usual routine and Dorian would witness it all in order to assess their situation. Dorian offered to make dinner but John refused, only accepting some help after much persuasion. After they had eaten, it was business as usual - quiet time with stories, then bath and pjs ready for snuggles and lullabies in Ben’s room. Dorian hovered so well John barely realized he was still there, and he was certain Ben was the same since he didn’t act up or do anything unusual after saying goodnight to their new friend (he had seen Dorian smile when Ben had called him that).

John did feel a little self-conscious singing Twinkle-Twinkle and the favorite song of Ben’s that John had made up himself, but he did it. He snuggled Ben under his robot covers and stroked his hair for a little while before finally kissing his forehead, whispering “goodnight” and softly tiptoeing from the room. As he pulled the door closed, leaving a small gap, he breathed out a sigh of relief and felt a gentle hand on his shoulder. Dorian had his finger over his lips when John looked round to him and he nodded towards the stairs. They both crept down and John grabbed the baby monitor from its charger by the living room door.

“Ok John, that was great, a good routine and you both seem relaxed and settled.”

“So why does he wake up so much?” John ran his hands through his hair and then down to rub fingers over his eyes. He was drained and despite the expert being here there was no end in sight.

“Well, it can be any number of reasons. How we deal with it when he does wake can make all the difference.”

All John heard was ‘we’. He felt supported after just these few hours. “Thanks Dorian, I guess we just wait now, huh?”

“Well, generally after I’ve seen this much we schedule another visit and arrange for an overnight stay. But John, I’m free tonight and I know how much you need this, so I can be here until morning, if you’d like.”

“Oh, really? Uh... yeah, that’d be great, get things started, thanks,” John stumbled on, not even certain if he was making any sense. He was at that stage of the day where he could easily just close his eyes and sleep the rest of it. It was only 7pm so he went to the kitchen and Dorian followed. “What’ll you have?” John asked putting on the kettle to try to keep himself awake a little longer.

“Coffee, thanks,” Dorian said as they stood by the sink, John still clutching the monitor in one hand, tense, always listening. “When was the last time you were able to relax John?” Dorian asked. “I mean without the worry of Ben waking.”

John rubbed at his eyes again. "Well, I catch up with some sleep at the weekends, but I don’t even know. He slept ok for a couple of months way back, so I guess a year? Maybe more.” It was actually painful to admit to when so much had gone wrong for them. 

Dorian went out to get supplies from his car, always keeping an emergency bag at hand he said. John marveled at how ready for this he was. He couldn’t imagine a worse job than willingly spending a potentially sleepless night in someone else’s home.

Stability seemed to be the key as far as Dorian was concerned, through the whole of their routine, not least at bedtime. Ben needed to know that even though things were different now his parents were both there for him and he was safe and loved wherever he was, regardless of which house. His parents should both be there at set patterns and regular intervals. John knew as soon as they started to talk that this wasn’t completely the case. How many times had Anna changed plans and come for Ben a day early, or John had called her and ended up instead in heated discussion with her new man. Regardless, John blamed himself for their issues and he probably always would.

Dorian insisted John go to bed shortly after their chat. He felt like so much crap after realizing what some of their problems might be, and yet he fell asleep pretty quickly.

His eyes opened to the sound of Ben calling for him. It was the same as always. John was out of bed before his brain really knew what was happening, trudging to Ben’s bedroom before he knew it. He tiptoed in and was only mildly surprised to realize Dorian was behind him, finger to his lips as he watched what John would do next. John did his usual pick up, cuddle, drink, cuddle, put down. This first time was normally ok and Ben went back into his cot calmly. John crept back out and Dorian gave a thumbs up patting John’s shoulder as he went back to his bed, and Dorian went downstairs to the sofa bed in the living room.

The next time Ben woke was exactly the same, John up within seconds, feeling as if he had not even been asleep and hugging Ben to his chest before even thinking about it. Dorian was at the door to his bedroom when John stepped back out to the hallway. He motioned for Dorian to come in and they sat on the edge of John’s bed together. “Am I doing this right?” John murmured, still sleepy but needing some reassurance.

“Yes John,” Dorian answered quietly, “Best thing you can do. You’re doing great.”

“Ok, thanks. Bet you’re regretting this job already, huh?”

Dorian shook his head immediately. “Not at all, this is what I do.” He smiled, actually smiled at three in the morning. It made John’s mouth turn up a little too and he realized now how much he had needed this support. “Ok, back to sleep. I’ll see you at the next round. Or maybe not, always think positive, yes?” John grunted and watched as Dorian left the room.

The night carried on as normal, and yet not quite so since John had someone with him for once. It was better. By breakfast time however John was feeling awkward. They had all been up another two or three times and John could vividly remember his dream during his last few minutes of light sleep. Dream John had invited Dreamy Dorian to stay in his bed and John had woken up with warm feelings about their closeness in the dream. He knew it was hugely inappropriate and also that Dorian was a professional and wouldn’t consider anything like that. But the thoughts were there and John felt odd - sad, lonelier than ever and attracted to his son’s sleep specialist. Damn.

John spoke with Anna that day once Dorian had left them. He and Ben would have a night to themselves with Dorian returning the following afternoon. John was to attempt to work through some things in the meantime.

They managed a civil conversation and John even had Anna say a few words to Ben over the phone, took a photo to send to her. He was making an effort, trying to close the gap a little between their lives, for Ben’s sake. As long as his ex played along then maybe they could create a better all round routine for him.

With Ben at playgroup in the afternoon John was left trying to distract himself from his fantasies. Dorian messaged him before Ben’s bedtime with words of encouragement, John appreciated it. He would have a bill at the end of this of course but he didn’t care right now. Maybe later he’d try to remind himself of the money to make his desires disappear. He was still sleep deprived of course and he knew his judgement wasn’t all there. He could get through this and get Ben sleeping, he just needed to do one thing at a time.

Another week of sessions with Dorian, more work at being friendly with Anna and making sure Ben saw that behavior, and then John and Ben were on their own again. It did seem as if they were getting a little more sleep, John hadn’t shuffled between bedrooms quite so often and Ben didn’t end up in John’s bed as much. He missed Dorian’s face in the darkness but a breakfast text from him had John smiling. Dorian would be there again soon and John felt determined – positive that he could do this. Calm and happy days and a settled routine. 

By Dorian’s next visit John knew he had slept longer. Ben was cheerful and had tons of energy whatever their nights were like but even John felt more awake today, and not just because Dorian was due.

“You look good John, feeling any better?” Dorian asked as he played with Ben and his building blocks.

John stood watching them. “Yeah, actually it’s been a little better. I must have had five hours last night.”

“In total or in a row?” Dorian asked, his shining blue eyes looking up and melting John a little more each time he spoke.

“Total, come on I’m not expecting miracles you know.”

Dorian smiled and John had to sit down. “True enough, but I do have a reputation to maintain.” He winked and John swallowed hard.

“I’ll er... just get some drinks,” he said, flustered and confused and why did Dorian have to be so hot anyway?

He survived the rest of the day, focusing on his son as he should be. Bed time came around and before John knew it, it was 11pm and he hadn’t been upstairs once to resettle Ben. He couldn’t believe it. John and Dorian had been talking, John had put on a movie, they had hot chocolate and John was relaxed and happy. He was so thankful for Dorian in their lives but he knew it would soon end. It had to, Ben was improving and Dorian would no longer be needed. But John needed him, couldn’t actually bear the thought of not being in touch with this cheerful, beautiful man.

“What are you thinking, John?” Dorian asked quietly from the chair by the window.

John felt himself flush with warmth. “You really don’t wanna know that.” After a moment he risked a look at the man across from him.

Dorian was looking back at him, not smiling, just a sincere expression on his handsome face. “I do John, please, you can talk to me.”

John rubbed a hand through his hair, shifted awkwardly on the couch. “It’s inappropriate. I shouldn’t... don’t even know if...”

“Hey,” Dorian said and he got up, moved to sit beside John at a safe distance but still too close. “It’s ok.”

“It’s not ok Dorian, how I feel, you’ve been so good for us. I don’t want to take advantage of that.”

“What do you feel?” he asked and John stared for a moment, struck again by how beautiful Dorian’s skin was, how bright his eyes were and how good he smelled. He cleared his throat and tried to get a grip. After a deep breath he finally managed to speak again.

“I don’t want to stop seeing you after you’re done here. I mean, Ben’s sleeping so much better, I know we won’t need you for that support soon. But... I need you.” Dorian was quiet, just watching and John wished he could take it back, not the feeling, just the words if Dorian didn’t feel the same. But then Dorian responded.

“I’m really glad you said that John,” his voice was just a whisper.

“You are?” John breathed. _Oh shit._

“I’ve felt the same since... well since we first met man, but I couldn’t act on it, not while you’re employing me.”

“You’re fired,” John said immediately, grinning like an idiot.

“Well now, that’s too bad,” Dorian said and he was grinning too and leaning in, edging closer and John closed the space between them. As their lips touched, the baby monitor came to life beside them, as Ben called out for his Daddy.

John pulled back and the pair stared at each other, both breathing a little unsteadily. “Don’t move, I got this,” John said, and Dorian laughed softly as John backed away to deal with his real life for a moment. “Don’t move, ok?” John repeated, and Dorian nodded as he waved John out of the room.

John usually didn’t bounce up the stairs grinning like this. He was definitely in a positive mood tonight.


End file.
